Filling the Empty Pages

These are my journals from the last year. Lest you think my life enormously interesting or my writing amazingly prolific, they are all empty from approximately page five forward. Despite what my skeptical husband believes (that I have a notebook fetish), all were bought with one purpose in mind--to list the things for which I am grateful.

Over a year ago I was inspired by Ann Voskamp at A Holy Experience to take the 1000 Gifts challenge. You can read more about the 1000 Gifts here, but the basic idea is to pay attention to the good things and write them down, thereby developing a lifestyle of gratitude. The goal: 1000 entries. My current status: a whopping 51. That's not even one a week.

Around page three of journal number five, I wrote: I am not cultivating one of two habits. Either I'm not living a life of gratitude or I'm not living a life of journaling. That little revelation propelled me from 33 to 51 where I suddenly stopped both endeavors. I rant and rave about being thankful and counting blessings to a seven-year-old malcontent who has toys, clothes, and books galore, and a little twinge of hypocrisy ribs a guilty conscience--blank pages of five journals coming to mind.

I could easily fill those pages with an "If Only" list. If only we had more children. If only we were completely debt-free. If only we owned a house. If only my husband would take over the homeschool science experiments. If only I weren't overweight. If only my house were in order. This list contains six entries already--over 10% of my gratitude list!

But I've always been a New Year's resolution, leaf-turning, Anne of Green Gables sort. After all, "tomorrow is a new day, fresh, with no mistakes in it." So, here in my blog, a sixth journal of sorts, I will pay attention to life, write it down, and give thanks publicly for the wonderful things God has done, is doing, and will do. (If you can call five readers a "public.")

In fact, I'll start today by remembering a few of my favorites from the first 51:

#1 Cool homemade grape juice before Micah wakes from a nap

#6 Brightly-colored kites dancing in an on-coming storm

#11 A glimpse into little boy dreams



#19 Surprisingly cold weather in the middle of my eternal summer

#21 New couches finally delivered that are just as beautiful as I had hoped--a gift from my in-laws

#27 The first stain on the new couches that helps me let go of vanity, greed, and perfectionism-- kids live here!!!

#28 Two little boys who argue every night about what bed they are going to sleep in and then end up snuggled together in a single bed

#35 The smiles on 39 Junior Church faces as they danced and sang and worshipped

#40 A husband who enjoys grocery shopping

#42 Three hours snuggled up with boys on couch reading story after story after story . . .

". . . We will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the Lord, His powers, and the wonders He has done." Psalm 78:4

Lord, give me grace to notice, and in noticing, give thanks.